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Do you need funny jokes that you can send over text? You’ve come to the right place.

Unlike face-to-face jokes, text jokes need to be short, clear, and easy to understand on screen. We’ve collated over 145+ funny text jokes that you can send to your loved ones to brighten their day, spark laughter, and even start a hilarious conversation.

Here’s our list of best jokes to send:

Congratulations! You won absolutely nothing today.

Your future self says, “Nice try.”

I need a vacation from my vacation.

I asked Google for a joke. Guess what? It showed me your contact.

You should apologize to the stars for outshining them.

I love you so bad, even though your taste in memes is poor.

I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

I came. I saw. I forgot to conquer.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
Nobel… that’s why I knocked.

I only know 25 letters. I don’t know Y.

Anonymous Text Jokes

Imagine if you could send a text joke to your friend without them knowing it’s you? Yes, you can actually send an anonymous text and get a reply, while you watch their confused yet hilarious reaction. Send these funny messages anonymously to make the experience more exhilarating.

Your fridge called. It misses you terribly.

We noticed suspicious levels of awesomeness around you.

Congratulations! You won absolutely nothing today.

Your shadow filed a complaint against you.

Please return the moon by midnight.

Your pet nominated you for mayor.

The Wi-Fi says you’re the problem.

We found your missing motivation. It’s hiding.

The neighborhood cats demand more respect.

Aliens rated your dancing skills three stars.

Your mirror has trust issues now.

We tracked excessive snacking to your location.

Your future self says, “Nice try.”

Your socks are plotting against the washing machine.

Breaking news: Your houseplants are requesting better leadership.

The government accidentally listed you as a national treasure.

We received reports of excessive weirdness from your location.

Funny Text Jokes for Adults

There’s endless comedy in adult life that you don’t even have to sweat it. Adult text jokes are so relatable, as they are highlights from the everyday life of most grownups. Here are some examples you can send.

1. I need a vacation from my vacation.
2. My wallet practices social distancing from money.
3. Coffee and I are in a committed relationship.
4. I survived today purely out of spite.
5. My bed deserves employee-of-the-month awards.
6. I work hard so bills stay entertained.
7. Sleep keeps ghosting me every night.
8. My paycheck arrives already fully committed.
9. I finally exercised. I’m running out of patience.
10. My hobbies include avoiding unnecessary phone calls.
11. My retirement plan is finding a bag full of cash.
12. Being an adult is mostly moving money around.
13. I spent all day being productive tomorrow.
14. The older I get, the earlier “late” becomes.
15. I wish everything in life was as easy as gaining weight.
16. Being an adult is saying “next week” until you die.
17. I wasn’t tired before adulthood became my personality.

Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends Over Text

Do you need hilarious text messages to prank your friend or you want to roast them, or make them forget that they are going through a tough phase? These are the best jokes that can make your friends smile uncontrollably and even banter you with a funnier joke.

1. Do you know that you’re proof that miracles confuse scientists?
2. I asked Google for a joke. Guess what? It showed me your contact.
3. Your secrets are safe with me. I can assure you because I never listen.
4. You’re the friend I call when I need bad advice.
5. Never change. It’s entertaining for the rest of us.
6. I envy people who haven’t met you yet.
7. You’re not weird. You’re a limited edition mistake.
8. Hey! Do you know that you’re MBFWYLION. Yes, My Best Friend Whether You Like It Or Not.
9. You know, we’ve been friends for so long but I still remember you being the bad influence.
10. I trust pigeons more than your directions.
11. I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new pals.
12. You’re everyone’s favorite accidental comedian.
13. You’re my favorite notification after low-battery warnings.
14. If stupidity burned calories, you’d be a fitness influencer.
15. I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head, though.
16. I love our friendship. Mostly because you make me look normal.
17. If bad decisions were a profession, you’d be management.

Funny Jokes to Text Your Girlfriend

Your relationship can become boring unless you make a conscious effort to spice it up. And what better way to do this if not to use funny text jokes? These playful joke text messages for your girlfriend can make her smile, laugh, and think about you throughout the day.

1. I was productive today. Then you texted me.
2. You should apologize to the stars for outshining them.
3. You’re my favorite reason to procrastinate.
4. My dog likes you more than me. Rude!
5. I had a smart thought. Then I realized I missed you.
6. You’re my favorite distraction from adulthood responsibilities.
7. You’re making my standards unrealistically high.
8. You live in my head rent-free and comfortably.
9. You’re the reason my battery dies so quickly.
10. My friends are tired of hearing about you.
11. I blame you for my ridiculous screen time.
12. I checked my schedule. It still revolves around you.
13. You turned “good morning” into my favorite notification.
14. Even my autocorrect knows your name now.
15. I keep smiling at my phone like an idiot. People are concerned.
16. You’re becoming a very expensive addiction.
17. I was trying to play it cool. Then I met you.

Funny Jokes to Text Your Boyfriend

Sometimes, all it takes to keep the burning desire before you and your boyfriend is a simple funny text. Want to catch your boyfriend off guard with a laugh? These funny texts are perfect for making him laugh, flirt back, or wonder how you became this entertaining.

1. I love you so bad, even though your taste in memes is poor.
2. I miss you, but not your god forsaken playlist.
3. Thanks for always acting surprised when you’re wrong.
4. Your hoodie is mine now. Check the rules.
5. I adore you, but let’s not get carried away.
6. You’re handsome enough to survive your jokes.
7. I still choose you. Daily. Somehow. Please don’t make it weird.
8. You are cute when you’re wrong. That helps.
9. You’re proof that chaos can be attractive.
10. I love you more than sleep. Maybe.
11. You’re the human version of “trust the process.”
12. I love you, but your directions are a public hazard.
13. You’re brave for someone who never reads instructions.
14. I should charge you for all my extra smiling.
15. I never believed in soulmates until you stole my fries.
16. My friends think I’m obsessed with you. They’re right.
17. You somehow make chaos feel romantic.

Funny Pun Text Messages

Do you need funny jokes to tell your friends over text to make them wonder how they met a silly person like you? Send them pun text messages. These clever wordplays are guaranteed to make them groan and giggle.

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
2. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.
3. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
4. That bakery burned down. Their business is toast.
5. I told my suitcase we wouldn’t travel. Now it’s emotional baggage.
6. The calendar factory closed. Too many bad dates.
7. My pencil broke. Point taken.
8. I wanted to become a musician, but I couldn’t conduct myself.
9. The coffee filed a police report. It got mugged.
10. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
11. My watch quit its job. It couldn’t handle overtime.
12. The bicycle couldn’t stand up because it was two-tired.
13. My fish keeps telling jokes. He’s quite the clownfish.
14. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
15. The librarian got promoted. She was well-booked.
16. I became a baker because I kneaded dough.
17. The stadium got hot after all the fans left.

Funny One-Liner Text Jokes

Sometimes, the funniest jokes are the shortest ones. They deliver quick laughs without needing any explanation, which makes them perfect for texting. These one-liner jokes are perfect whether you’re trying to make a friend smile or add some humor to your conversation.

1. I came. I saw. I forgot to conquer.
2. I need a six-month vacation twice a year.
3. I finally started exercising. That’s if running late counts.
4. My brain has too many tabs open.
5. I’m not old. I’m just a classic model.
6. My patience expired three conversations ago.
7. I finally got my life together. It left again.
8. I thought I was indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
9. I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes ever.
10. I have enough money to last forever. If I stop eating.
11. I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.
12. I’m not saying I’m unlucky, but my charger dies first.
13. My to-do list and I are no longer speaking.
14. I spend money like I’m trying to impress my bank.
15. I’m not late. Everyone else is unusually early.
16. Some people age gracefully. I’m just aging.
17. I changed my password to “incorrect.” Problem solved.

Funny Knock-Knock Text Jokes

Knock-knock jokes never get old when they’re clever and unexpected. The simple question-and-answer format has been making people laugh for generations, and they work well over text. You should try them.

1. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Annie.
   Annie who?
   Annie body home?
2. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Tank.
   Tank who?
   You’re welcome.
3. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Lettuce.
   Lettuce who?
   Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here.
4. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Cow says.
   Cow says who?
   No, a cow says moo.
5. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Canoe.
   Canoe who?
   Canoe help me with homework?
6. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Harry.
   Harry who?
   Harry up and answer.
7. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Donut.
   Donut who?
   Donut forget my birthday.
8. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Orange.
   Orange who?
   Orange you glad I texted?
9. Knock knock.
   Who’s there?
   Justin.
   Justin who?
   Justin time.
10. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Weekend.
    Weekend who?
    Weekend use another day off.
11. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Nobel.
    Nobel who?
    Nobel… that’s why I knocked.
12. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Snow.
    Snow who?
    Snow is standing outside.
13. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Dishes.
    Dishes who?
    Dishes a great joke.
14. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Wooden shoe.
    Wooden shoe who?
    Wooden shoe like another joke?
15. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Atch.
    Atch who?
    Bless you!
16. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Yah.
    Yah who?
    No thanks, I prefer Google.
17. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Needle.
    Needle who?
    Needle little help opening the door.

Funny Dad Joke Text Messages

Dad jokes are famous for being delightfully cheesy. These funny text jokes are usually simple and family-friendly. If you enjoy classic punchlines and predictable twists, these Dad joke text messages will surely deliver.

1. I only know 25 letters. I don’t know Y.
2. Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
3. I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.
4. What do sprinters eat? Fast food.
5. Broken pencils are completely pointless.
6. I don’t trust atoms. They make everything up.
7. What do clouds wear? Thunderpants.
8. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
9. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
11. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
12. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
13. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
14. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
15. Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case of a hole in one.
16. What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music.
17. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.

Keep the Laugh Going with Funny Text Jokes

Funny text jokes can instantly brighten someone’s day, strengthen friendships, and create memorable moments. Whether you prefer anonymous text jokes, playful relationship humor, classic dad jokes, or whichever, there are options for you. So copy your favorites, send them to friends, and keep the laughter going one text at a time.

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