How to Hilariously Roast Your Friends Anonymously

True friendship isn’t just about being there during hard times, it’s also about knowing your friends well enough to tease them about their strange habits and questionable choices. Like that one friend who can go all out arguing that pineapple should be placed on pizza or the friend who thinks his/her karaoke voice deserves a record deal.

But before we dive into how to send anonymous roast messages, let’s get one thing clear: a good roast is an art built on affection. It’s meant to make your friend laugh, not cry. So, this guide is strictly for close friends who share a great sense of humor.

Ready to master the fine art of good-natured anonymous roasts, with ready-to-use examples and the perfect tool for dissemination? Let’s go.

Table of Contents

The 3 Golden Rules of Roasting a Friend

Rule #1: Know Your Audience

Just as how it’s applicable to read the room before pulling funny stunts, so also it is before roasting—but in this case, read the friend. You should only roast a friend you know will find it funny. If your friend has ever sulked over light teasing or taken a joke too personally, don’t roast him/her.

The Golden Test: If you wouldn’t say it while both laughing over dinner, don’t send it.

Rule #2: Target Quirks, Not Insecurities

This is the most important rule. Good-natured roast messages for best friend should result in laughter, not questions about the friendship. The roast message should point out their quirks, not their flaws. While it’s funny to highlight habits like their bad dancing, messy desk, and addiction to energy drinks, their personal struggles are off-limits.

Good Roast: “Your plant collection is getting so big. I feel like I should pay a cover charge to visit your apartment.”

Bad Roast: “You keep on increasing in weight. Hopefully, you don’t burst like a balloon.”

Rule #3: It Must Come from a Place of Love

Every hilarious roast that aren’t mean hides a warm message underneath. Something like: “I know you, I see you, and I love you, you weirdo.” A perfect roast results in laughter shared between friends. If the energy isn’t affectionate, it’s not a roast—it’s an abuse.

Bottom Line: How to anonymously make fun of a friend is from a place of love, not harshness.

The Roast Factory: 20 Good Natured Jabs for Your Besties

Here are well-crafted anonymous jokes to send to friends. We’ve provided samples for different friendship dynamics. You can copy-and-paste them to your friends or customize to perfectly suit your scenario.

For the Friend Who’s Always Late

“If time were money, you would be the world’s biggest debtor. I’m sure your wristwatch even complains about your chronic lateness.”
“You’re the reason the group chat always says ‘let’s meet at 5,’ when everyone secretly means 7.”
“The only thing faster than your excuses for being late is how quickly you text, ‘I’m almost there!’ every single time.”
“You’re so consistently late that even Google Maps gave up on calculating your Expected Time of Arrival. It just says ‘sometimes between today and the apocalypse.’ I’m tired of waiting.”

For the Gamer Friend

“Your reflexes are top-tier in the game, but somehow you still can’t catch basic responsibilities in real life.”
“If your console goes missing, I will check your bloodstream. It’s clearly wired directly into your veins by now.”
“You’ve spent more hours in virtual worlds than most have spent on planet earth. Do you even remember what sunlight feels like?”
“I should have texted you to hang out, but you would probably have said you’re in a match. The same match that’s lasted since 2021.”

For the Friend Who’s a Terrible Cook

“If burnt offerings were still a thing, you would be the high priest of the kitchen, reigning supreme over ashes and mysterious smells.”
“Your cooking has inspired me to appreciate takeout on a daily basis. I’ve never felt more grateful for delivery apps.”
“You once made soup so thick that it achieved ‘solid’ from the beginning of the meal. Congratulations on inventing chewable water.”
“If there was a museum of kitchen disasters, your cooking would be the main exhibit. Entry fee includes a fire extinguisher.”

For the Friend Obsessed with Their Pet

“You talk about your pets like they pay your bills. Honestly, if they could, they would probably manage your finances better than you.”
“You treat your pet like royalty, but I’m disturbed because even kings don’t get so many treats, kisses, and public declarations of devotion.”
“Your pet has a better wardrobe, skincare routine, and social life than anyone I know, including you.”
“You post more pet pictures than actual updates about your life. I know your dog’s birthday, but not your own.”

For General, All-Purpose Roasting

“I would call you the human version of software update—promising improvement but somehow taking forever and crashing halfway through.”
“You live your life like a Wi-Fi signal—strong one minute, totally missing the next, and constantly asking to be reconnected.”
“You’re not the drama, you are the entire season, and even the extended behind-the-scenes clips.”
“If procrastination were a profession, I’m sure you would be thinking about applying for the job next week.”

Executing the Perfect Roast Messages with Anonsms

The perfect medium for disseminating your roast ideas without revealing who you are is via Anonsms. It’s a safe anonymous roast generator that ensures you are a ghost, particularly since the joke only works if the sender is a mystery. Unlike Vibebo and other anonymous roasts medium, you don’t have to download or install any app, nor do you have to create a profile. Anonsms is a website that allows you to send anonymous roast messages without traces; it guarantees 100% secrecy.

You can send your roast in the heat of a mischievous moment — the delivery is immediate. On the other hand, you can schedule when to send your roast messages. Just type the messages and choose the date & time you want them to be sent. This allows you to catch your friends when they are off-guard, making the roast more mysterious.

How to Launch Your Humorous Attack in 3 Steps:

Step 1: Go to anonsms.com
Step 2: Enter your friend’s phone number and pick your favorite roast from our list (or write a better one).
Step 3: Click “Send” and get ready for the alarming “WAS THIS YOU?” text in your group chat.

Send Hilarious Roasts

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my friend gets offended?

If that happens, apologize immediately. Explain that your intentions were humor, not harm. A true friend will appreciate honesty. And next time, be sure of the funny things to text your friend anonymously, or maybe skip roasting him/her.

Isn’t this just a form of bullying?

Not when it’s done from a place of love. Bullying tears down, but roasting builds connection through shared laughter. Hence, why it’s very important that you don’t roast them about their flaws (whether body image, financial struggles, etc.).

Will they ever find out it was me?

Not when you use Anonsms. It guarantees complete anonymity; your identity will be a secret and they won’t be able to trace the message. Anonsms do not store message logs.